As a first time buyer I want to know when god.. jehovah, allah, yahwe or the universe is going to give me  a break! 

I’ve been in the home owning wilderness for the past five years and being treated like a leper by the home owning democracy, for being too poor to join their club, despite earning more than the national average wage. I was also sadened by a Guardian Article on first time buyers and the cost of deposits.

Picture the scene...Me and my significant other at dinner parties and so desperately wanting to be able to say, “yeah...my house as gone up by 10k last month alone..” and “..gemma and I are thinking of upsizing soon...

I felt like Charlie of Charlie and the chocolate factory fame. Pressing my face against the shop window, looking longingly at magical creations of houses for sale UK on display but knowing that I could only hope to imagine the taste of what lay within, as no matter how much I hoped, the chocolate treasures would remain out of reach.

Well, with the recent falls in house prices I  could see my dream becoming a reality.. Once again I am Charlie… The Americans with their woeful oversight of their financial institutions have given me the bar of chocolate that I’ve been waiting for...

Tentatively, I ease the wrapper away from it contents and see something foreign.. It’s the ticket.. I find myself clawing at the wrapper, unble to control my fingers, my mind racing unable to comprehend or accept the possibility that I’ve may have found the ticket.  Yes I have the golden ticket!

I can now join the club.

The only problem is, when I present my golden ticket at the gates of the chocolate factory to a guard, let’s call him Mr Banker, (rumours are that he’s not very good at his job  and I hear he over indulges from time to time), he tells me that this golden ticket is no longer valid because of Mortgage rationing.

Now I'm only 8 years old and have no idea what that is… So I’m back outside the shop looking in… (again). 

But come on...didn’t we give you guys bucket loads of money not long ago?.  The decent thing to do would be to some a little back. 

I’m advocating responsible lending not, punitive lending. 

If I were a cynic I’d say that banks really don’t want to lend any money because they need to pay the government back the money that was lent, so they can get back to paying incompetent staff mega bonuses...but that’s if I were a cynic.